Tell the Truth
Does this sound terrifying from the get-go? I get it. It scares me too. While most of us are generally good, honest, not-lying human beings, we do make exceptions, don’t we? We say we’re fine when we’re not. It didn’t hurt, but it does. We don’t mind, except that we really do – we just don’t know how to say it.
For the next month, let’s embrace honesty, show our true selves and hide less behind a polite wall. It’s worth noting that there are several different kinds of truths. Here are just a few to consider as we move forward in this very challenging challenge together.
Tell Yourself the Truth
Accountability. Authenticity. It all starts here. It’s all too easy to blame others for our problems, to excuse our own behaviour when our actions are hurtful or when we make a mistake. This month, try to go deep inside and take time for self-reflection.
This is especially important when you have found yourself in a position you don’t like. An unhappy relationship, a toxic work environment, or a business that isn’t thriving. Sure, there are always extenuating circumstances and things that will remain outside of your control. But there are also the changes that you can implement, the choices that you can make. They may require courage, they may be scary, but they may also propel you forward.
To be clear, the object of these 30 days of telling the truth – in this case, to yourself – isn’t to place blame or take on unnecessary guilt. Rather, it’s to shine a light on the parts of us we don’t always want to examine closely because it makes us uncomfortable or vulnerable, or because to acknowledge certain truths would demand action.
Be honest yet gentle with your soul. To get under your own hood, you can ask yourself the kinds of probing questions you might ask a close friend. For example:
What is holding me back from achieving my goals?
Which area of my life am I least satisfied with, and what can I do to improve it?
Is there a part of myself I am hiding from others, and why?
What do I want the most out of life right now?
Try any of these to get started, or make your own list of thirty questions and answer one each day in a journal.
Tell Others the Truth
Once you’ve uncovered your own truths, you might like to share those discoveries with a partner or close comrade. But there’s another kind of truth-telling that can also be difficult to address.
Sometimes known as tough love, this can be a real challenge for those of us who avoid conflict at all costs or are more inclined to tell people what they want to hear rather than challenge their beliefs. It can be uncomfortable to say You’re making a mistake; You have to take responsibility; or, You are spiralling out of control.
All of these conversations must come from a genuine place of care and concern. Therefore, the first thing to do is check yourself and your own motivations for initiating these conversations. It’s also worth remembering that you can say twelve positive things and one negative thing, and it is the negative one that people tend to hang on to. Choose your words carefully.
Ask questions. Learn their truth before assuming you know everything. Avoid blame or shame and be open. If you want someone to show their true self, you must make yourself a safe place even with those honest truths you have to share. Be clear, direct, and above all, kind.
Should a colleague, friend, or lover come to you in these thirty days to say they regret a decision or worry about the future, you can share an unbiased observation while maintaining a judgment-free zone. And encourage them to seek their own truths within their hearts. Challenge them to pursue the same authenticity and accountability that you are seeking.
**If someone you care for is in real danger from themselves or others, please seek professional assistance immediately.
Here is my truth: I’m so glad you’re here, and I’m just as scared as you are. Please join me in this journey of truth. When our thirty days are up, I’d love to get an email back from you with any discoveries you’ve made. This might just change our lives forever!
