Success?

What would need to happen for you to consider yourself a success, maybe that’s too much pressure…let me rephrase. 

What would you need to happen to consider your life a success? 

When you picture the end of your life, who is there? Where are you? What are you thankful for?

When we imagine the end of our life, we can find answers about the now. 

We can take a look at our ideal ending, and make a roadmap to get there. 

I think there are some cultural definitions of success that we can latch onto if we don’t know our own. So this month, I want you to dive into knowing what matters most to you.

In my 20’s I was in this small group. There were five of us and we were supposed to share our wins, and our goals. I always felt so out of place in that group. Their definition of success looked very different from mine. One morning we were talking about success and a lyric came to mind.

‘I can achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth.’ by Ginny Owens. 

Every single time the word success comes up in conversation this lyric pops into my head and I’m so grateful for it. Success is not a stepping stone to self worth. It is not a requirement. 

As I got older I realized that ‘success’ wasn’t the problem. It was the definition of it that mattered. The cultural definition of success didn’t resonate for me. I didn’t desire a big new fancy house, or lots of money and trips, I didn’t care about fancy cars or being like other people. But I did have a picture in my head of what I cared about, and why couldn’t that be my own definition of success? So I started to redefine success for myself. 

Success for me meant comfort, safety, and connection to other people. Success meant joyful block parties, and my kids knowing their neighbors, healthy food on the table, with lots of friends around, a deep spiritual life with trustworthy friends I could talk to, an active sex life and intimacy with my partner. So I needed a home, a reliable car, and that takes money. I wanted to make money in a way that fed my soul so I could enjoy my days, whether at work or with my community. 

There is nothing wrong with success, or desiring a beautiful new home, a brand new car, or trips to paradise. There is nothing wrong with desiring an off the grid home with no car, maybe a horse, and large garden with no neighbours. It’s about defining success for yourself. u

Let your mind wander this month, ask yourself what success meant to you (or could mean to you) in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond. Has it changed, or stayed the same, is it what you want, what needs to shift?