Parallels of Paddling
I went to Coffee and Connection at The Well Collaborative recently and we had a discussion around the term “balance”. We left the topic open to interpretation and as each woman shared the word grew to include a broader definition. People expressed thoughts on the ideas of work-life balance, being grounded in the midst of chaos, rolling with the punches, and how balance is never perfect and at times not even possible. We quickly overturned the idea of balance being a constant, and that it instead is something, like our lives, ever evolving. As conversation flowed my mind drew a metaphor comparing this concept of finding balance in life to my process in learning to canoe. I recalled lessons I’ve been taught and realized the many parallels that paddling holds with the way we move through life, always working to continue forward and keep upright. Maybe some of these are cheesy and painfully obvious, but maybe you need to hear them anyway.
LOOSE HIPS NO TIPS
I tell it to everyone once they’re in a canoe with me for the first time (or the first time in a long time) as I rock the canoe from side to side with my hips. I show them how the boat is able to sway a lot more than you would expect without tipping and as long as you stay relaxed and moving with the water, you’re not going to end up in it. We can feel the affects of approaching waves on a lake without being overturned by them. We cannot be fighting against the ups and downs, attempting to be perfectly level at all times, but instead will find balance when we accept that life does not move forward in a horizontal line.
LOOK WHERE YOU WANT TO GO AND WORK WITH THE CURRENT TO GET THERE.
When I first learned to paddle up stream I would find myself in a frenzy anytime I entered the current. I was convinced that I had to fight harder and faster than the water in order to make any progress in it. I was soon taught, however, that canoeists are smart people and that using the force of the water to push you where you want to go is much more efficient than fighting against it. You still need to put in the work and be strategic about where and when you place your boat, but there doesn’t need to be panic in this process. You just keep your paddle in the water and your eye on where you want to go. You lean with the flow - which to an onlooker would appear to be forcing you in the opposite direction you want to go - and position yourself to make progress. It’s not always big progress, and it doesn’t always seem like the obvious route, but it’s still a forward momentum. You gain ground bit by bit by keeping your sights on the calm water at your next goal, taking it all one eddy at a time.
IT’S OKAY TO OPT OUT; YOUR SURVIVAL ALWAYS COMES FIRST.
There are always going to be times when a set of rapids are above your ability to complete safely; when the risks are too high and your only option is to go around. This will happen more often then not as a beginner, but your survival is more important than your ego. You may be able to wade or line your boat close to shore, or it could be time for a full-on portage. Emptying out your gear and hauling everything on your back is a lot of work, but when you just need to make it out alive, you’ll take any detour available. Sometimes you’ll approach a piece of water which maybe last year at this time you were able to paddle with ease, but for whatever reason - the weather, water level, or your own health or state of mind - this is not the time to attempt it again. There are always factors that make us hesitant to enter into a difficult situation, and we’re always allowed to put our own well being first and choose an alternate path.
THERE’S THE SAFE LINE AND THERE’S THE FUN LINE.
When scouting a set of rapids, you watch the water and set an ideal line - the route that gets you where you want to go with the least amount of risk possible. This line is meant to keep you safe, dry, and comfortable, but in avoiding the big waves you’re oftentimes avoiding some big fun! So then you weigh the risk of the alternative options. You study the big waves and decide where the possibility of tipping or taking on water can be embraced in order to reap a higher reward. Sometimes big opportunities present themselves to us in our workplace or personal life but they come with bigger risks. There’s always the safe option but at times it’s worth it to paddle into the big waves and have a little fun – even if it means getting tired and wet.
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, JUST RIDE THE WAVE.
Sometimes you have your ideal line all planned out. You know what move you’re going to make when to get you where you want to go while also avoiding the most threatening waves. But then you send it and for whatever reason it doesn’t go as planned. Maybe the current wasn’t quite like you expected. Perhaps you missed a stroke and couldn’t get where you needed to be in time. Sometimes there’s a hidden obstacle you couldn’t see from shore. Whatever the reason, you’re plan is now obsolete and you’ve got to make a new one. The simplest option - ride the wave. The biggest waves are where they are because that’s where the most water is getting pushed. Rather than trying to make a last ditch effort out of it, join the current and allow it to push you where it flows. It may not be what you planned for, but sometimes you’ve just got to embrace the position you’re in and go with it.
A PEAK ALWAYS FOLLOWS THE VALLEY.
When you’re right in the middle of the big stuff you often lose sight of what’s around you. The rolling waves can be so big that when your boat is in a valley the shore, horizon, and even your friends are blocked from your vision and all you can see is mounds of water on every side. It can be easy to panic in this position - it’s not easy to believe you’ll make it out when you can’t orient yourself to your surroundings - but the truth in every set of waves it that there’s always a peak coming. As you raise up out of that valley you can take it all in, reminding yourself of what’s around you and resetting your attention on where you need to go. This high doesn’t always last long before you find yourself back in a position with an impeded sightline, but you can use what you witnessed just moments prior to get you through. Highs and lows happen; some call life a rollercoaster but I recently heard it compared to a heartbeat. Flatlining is not healthy and balance comes in understanding that peaks and valleys are natural and necessary. When you feel like you’re stuck in a pit with no vision or power, know that the hill you’re climbing will lead to the inverse.
ALWAYS HAVE A RESCUE BOAT.
While it’s nice to believe you can accomplish everything you set your mind to, there are always going to be things that take you down. As you can imagine, it’s not easy to rescue yourself alone. When you’ve gone from you’re nice dry boat packed full of everything you need for a week in the wilderness, to literally just trying to keep your head above water, you need people with you to help you pick up the pieces - and your gear floating downstream. Sometimes this is in the form of paddlers who know this area well; able to navigate the water with ease to support you when you’re down. And other times it means one boat gets portaged or lined to the end of a set; their assured safety contributing to that of the overall group. Weather it be someone who’s been there before or a friend who avoided the situation all together, always have people around who can support you when you need it and never be unwilling to be the rescuer when your turn comes.
EVERY EXPERIENCE IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH.
Just when you think you’ve got this keeping a canoe upright thing sorted out, something’s going to happen that makes you realize that you’re not even close. It can be easy to get discourage in these moments, to compare yourself to others and wonder why you even bother. But that’s not what it’s about. It’s about becoming the best you can be, and knowing that everything you go through, every success and every setback, is an opportunity to learn and grow. One of my favourite things after taking a spill on a set of rapids is getting together with my partner and talking about what went wrong; comparing our perspectives and making a plan for our next attempt. In the same light, there’s nothing better than a paddle high-five after attempting the line again and running it successfully. So own your mistakes, study them and assess where you went wrong, and then move forward with a new idea on how to conquer similar obstacles in the future so you can celebrate your successes!
YOU AND YOUR PARTNER HAVE DIFFERENT STRENGTHS, THAT’S OKAY AND NECESSARY.
The best part about paddling tandem is that you’re not in it alone - you’ve got someone on your team. You each play a different role in reaching your goals, and you’ve each got different strengths to get you there. I often get frustrated when I’m not as physically strong as other paddlers but I need to remind myself that that’s why I have a partner to work with. I choose not to paddle solo because I know that it would take exponentially longer to go alone. Sometimes in a partnership you lean on one more than another, but the adventure is a lot more enjoyable when you’re sharing it. Be it a spouse, friend, business partner, or sibling, learning to work together while accepting your differences will take you to places you never thought possible.
TAKE A BREAK. Every set of rapids comes to an end. No mater how chaotic things seem to be, there’s always calm water to be found or a shoreline to pull up onto. Rest. Refuel yourself. Hydrate, eat, and sleep. Let your mind relax and breathe. Whether it’s for an hour, a day, or an entire season, never punish yourself for taking a well needed time-out. The river’s not going anywhere, come back to it when you’re ready. 10,000 HOURS. It’s been said that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at anything. I think about that number and wonder if I could ever become an expert paddler. Realistically, no, I don’t spend enough time on the water. But that’s okay, I’m not required to be an expert to experience everything that comes with the sport. I can have fun, make mistakes, go for unplanned swims, and be supported by those around me when needed. I can learn and improve bit by bit, all the while trusting what I know and making the most of where I am.
We don’t need to be experts at living a “balanced life” (whatever that means) in order to give it a go. We can take what the universe throws our way with an understanding that we have no control over the outside world and instead learn to work with what we’re given. We can look at our goals and use the pressures put against us to make progress to reach them. We can practice assessing the situations we’re in, avoiding some and moving forward with caution in others. We can take risks and have fun. We can find peace in every valley knowing that we’ll rise out of it in due time. We can ride the waves as they come and have support systems in place for when they knock us down. We can learn from each experience and work together to go further than we ever could alone. We can rest when we need to and persevere when we’re ready. We may not ever figure out how to balance our lives perfectly, but in the midst of the chaos we can learn to be calm and trust ourselves to continue.
